Parental Guidance Suggested
Approaches to the question of parental guidance can be divided into two
general categories. The more yang approach is authoritarian. It often involves
rigid rules or attitudes that parents wish to impose upon their children. It
frequently employs punishment if children break these rules or fail to do what
parents expect. In extreme cases, parents may believe that their children are
inherently bad and must be re¬formed, with physical punishment if necessary.
The more yin approach to discipline can be referred to as permissiveness. In
recent times, it has developed largely as a counterbalance to the perceived
harshness of the authoritarian approach. In extreme instances, parents allow
children to do almost anything they wish in their belief that any type of
restraint may be harmful to the child's development.
It is important to remember that each child is a manifestation of the infinite
universe, or God. Children are by nature no more "bad" than the sun, the
stars, or any other natural phenomenon. On the contrary, if their natural
tendencies and instincts are allowed to mature fully, all human beings seek
universal love and harmony. The characteristics usually thought of as negative
aspects of human nature represent the incomplete development of humanity's
natural tendencies. It is important, therefore, to love all children
unconditionally and to respect their integrity as a manifestation of God.
In the Introduction, we saw how imbalances in daily diet and environment can
lead to the abnormal psychological conditions that produce child abuse.
Striking or punishing a child out of anger, devising some form of calculated
punishment, or ignoring a child's safety are indications of physical and mental
imbalance. An overly rigid or authoritarian approach to children often develops
when the consumption of meat, eggs, fish, poultry, or other yang
foods-including salt and minerals-becomes excessive. An overly permissive
approach develops more easily when refined or chemicalized foods, tropical
fruit~, sugar, chocolate, milk, ice cream, and other more yin items are
overemphasized in the diet.
For example, hitting children is usually the result of anger or frustration on the
part of the parents. Psychologists have discovered that children who are hit
usually do not remember what they were punished for and do not change
their behavior as a result. Children who are hit rarely feel sorry for their
actions, and striking children tends to establish a pattern of physical abuse in
the household. Children, who are hit, often begin to hit their younger brothers
and sisters, and grow up with the belief that violence toward other human
beings is an acceptable method for solving problems.
It is up to the parents to educate and guide their children toward a proper
way of life. When children behave in an unhealthy or abnormal way, parents
should realize that they themselves are the major cause, either through
providing children with excessive or unbalanced food or through the example
of their own daily behavior.
In a more balanced approach, harmony is the underlying principle of relations
between husband and wife and parents and children. Harmony is either
maintained or disrupted primarily by the quality of food prepared daily. The
question of how children behave cannot be separated from the overall health
and way of living of the family as a whole. A more balanced approach is
neither authoritarian nor permissive to the extent that no constructive
guidance is provided. It is based on a keen observation of how children are
behaving and an under-standing of the underlying causes of their behavior.
When behavior becomes out of balance or one-sided, parents can lovingly
help their children reestablish equilibrium.
When children develop a behavioral problem, discuss it with them and try to
find out the cause. It may be something they are eating, or it may be due to
inattention from you, the parents. When talking with your children, let them
see how their behavior may not be in their best interests or in the interest of
family harmony. If children consistently repeat their mistakes without learning
from them, a more firm approach may be necessary; however, always
remember that food and the home environment are the underlying cause of
most problems, and that behavior itself is basically the reflection of the quality
of these factors.