A Natural Parenting Tip – “Not to Make Promises that cannot be kept”
During the Russo-Japanese War, Japan’s naval forces were led by a man
named Admiral Togo. Even though it was relatively unsophisticated, the
Japanese Navy overcame tremendous odds and managed to destroy the
Russian Navy in the seas around Japan.
Admiral Togo never sought fame or personal glory. He was a traditional
samurai. He often told stories, including one about lying. When he was a boy,
his mother would occasionally give him a piece of rice candy as a treat. She
kept the candy in a jar on a high shelf in the closet. One day, he asked her for
a piece of the candy, and she told him there wasn't any. That afternoon, when
she left the house, he went straight to the closet and piled up cushions so he
could reach the jar. He found several pieces of candy there and climbed down
and ate them. On the following day, his mother went to the closet to get him a
piece of candy and discovered the empty jar. She asked if he had stolen the
candy, and he replied, "No, I didn't. There wasn't any candy left. You told me
so." His mother was quiet for a moment. Then she knelt down in front of him.
She bowed and said, "I was wrong. I'm sorry that I lied to you. It was my
fault, and I'll never lie to you again." At that moment, he understood how
wrong it was to lie. He also saw what a wonderful spirit his mother had. The
experience created a deep love and respect for his mother and taught him a
lesson that influenced his adult life.
If, instead of self-reflecting, she had tried to conceal her mistake or had
attacked or reprimanded her son, his attitude would have been very different.
Her approach had a deep and long-lasting effect; Admiral Togo was known
throughout his life as an extremely honest man.
Parents are encouraged to keep their promises to children. If we tell children
that we will take them to a museum or buy them a new toy, we should be
sure to do what we say. If we break our word, children will learn to distrust
us. Breaking promises is a form of lying. Therefore, be careful not to make
promises that cannot be kept.